


Becca and Iris: It's About Time

by BeObscene



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Vampires Suck (2010)
Genre: Comedy of Errors, F/F, Femslash, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Meta, Metafiction, POV Lesbian Character, Parody, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 19:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30127563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeObscene/pseuds/BeObscene
Summary: Finally a story all about the true romantic couple of Vampires Suck. Follow Becca Crane and Iris Sullen as they learn about their true feelings and the meaning of fanfiction.
Relationships: Becca Crane and Iris Sullen, Becca Crane/Iris Sullen





	1. Chapter 1

Becca's POV

I couldn't believe I was back in Sporks. My mom wanted nothing to do with me after she met her beefcake boyfriend and was on the road a lot, so I had to stay with my dad, Frank. Sure I'm 18, practically a milf by today's standards but I could barely take care of myself. I didn't have much in common with Frank, I had a bad feeling he would grow tired of me too and I'd be living on the streets very soon; I'm sure I could find a way to make money pretty easy, I've been told I have what they call 'Good Blowjob lips'. I never had any job before but I'm pretty sure I could blow on just about anything people wanted.

Frank was Sporks' sheriff and someone I could look up to I guess, though the rusted old truck he gave me as a gift was a little odd at least I knew I had a getaway vehicle when I needed it; if it didn't break down first. The only person I knew my age was Jacob White and I would hardly see him because he goes to school on his reservation so it looked like I was doomed to my first day at Sporks High knowing no one and being a walking disaster.

"Nice whip!" One student said when I parked. When I shut the driver's side door the entire fender fell off. Dammit!

I nervously walked all slouched over with my book bag as people gawked at me. I bee-lined to the front entrance when someone threw an egg at my back. At my old school I blended in easily into the crowd but here a girl with little personality and dinner theater style acting at best really stuck out. All of the other girls seemed to be bright and beautiful while I dressed all plain, dark and brooding. I was bewildered when I was invited to sit at what appeared to be the cool kid table in the cafeteria. Jennifer and her boyfriend Rick welcomed me; well Jennifer threatened me with a switch blade if I came after Rick but he didn't seem all that interested anyway.

"Nice tits," said Jennifer smugly, looking down at my chest.

"Thanks," I smiled awkwardly, "I got them from my mom."

I noticed a group that looked like they all just walked off a GQ magazine shoot, they all looked great and oddly pale. They walked in a line to their table that was perfectly centered at the other end of the room. A very large guy that must've been a football player, a blonde girl that kept giving me this look like she wanted to kill me for some reason, a guy that looked like he was constipated and a free spirited girl clearly by the way she moved her arms carelessly as she walked almost like she wanted to dance.

"Wow are those kids OK? They all look sick or something."

Jennifer frowned at me like I said something stupid; probably, sometimes it's hard for me to tell. "Those are the Sullens. The big one is Alex and that's his girlfriend slash adoptive sister Rosalyn and that one that looks like he wants to fart is Jeremiah and that weird pixie girl is his girlfriend slash adoptive sister, Iris."

"Wait adopted?"

"Yeah their father is Doctor Carlton. He's a super rich doctor. He takes in kids."

"Wow so he adopts kids and they end up dating each other?" I thought this over with a blank stare while Jennifer smiled and nodded, "That's so...HOT!"

"I know, right?"

Alex had Rosalyn in his arms kissing her while she tried climbing him like a jungle gym; she kept glaring over at me so I tried hiding behind my hair. I couldn't get over how Iris was actively trying to avoid kissing Jeremiah, he kept trying to kiss her but she politely kept him an arm length away and shook his hand instead. She was very beautiful and certainly dressed very preppy but she was kind of curvy, she certainly filled out those white denim jeans of hers.

Jennifer caught me staring at Iris, there might have been a trail of drool coming from my mouth and hitting the table. She leaned over and said, "She is the biggest tease. She's also super annoying I swear she tries to get in every guy's pants. OH LOOK WHO IT IS!" I wiped my mouth and turned to see what she was going all gaga about.

This guy strutted down the cafeteria, he was somehow paler than the others. Golden eyes just like them but he had big hair all gelled up.

"Who is that?"

"Edward Sullen. Total hottie! Don't even think you have a chance!"

"Um, OK."

"But you totally want him, right?"

"Uh..."

"This isn't going to be one of those love stories you totally see coming is it? It's not like you're pining over Iris Sullen, right?"

"Uh..."

"Good I thought maybe you were a total rug muncher."

I really didn't like her talking to me like that plus dissing someone for being gay (which I so clearly am not) is so 80's.

"Becca are you looking at Iris' ass?"

Shit! Iris had bent over to pick up a quarter or something. I looked back at Edward. Yeah dreamboat, now I was getting it. I'm a teenage girl. I'm full of raging hormones. Boys. You like boys. This is a small, northwestern town that probably isn't the most open minded. Yeah smooth pale skin. Golden eyes. Spiky hair. Shit! No you're looking at Iris again!

"Breathtaking isn't he?"

I exhaled and forced myself to swoon, "Yeah..."

"He's gotta have a big dick, am I right?" she nudged my boob as I watched him apply makeup to himself at his siblings' table.

"Er, right."

"You a big dick girl, Becca?"

"Er..."

"Becca likes big dicks?" Rick butted in, clueless to the conversation.

I bit my lip and shrugged, that's when I locked eyes with Iris. Something very playful and calm behind those eyes.

Iris' POV

"Iris are you coming or what?" Edward yelled.

"In a minute!" I called as I struggled with yet another new pair of pants. I was practically doing yoga trying to squeeze my butt in them; like trying to suck a marble through a garden hose. Am I right, ladies? The pants got away from me, springing off of me and landing in a pile of other pants I tried on that morning. Well at least my white denim ones had spandex. Today was going to be a great day. I knew because of my power to see into the future. Weird I know.

When I jumped in the backseat I got looks from everyone in the car. I love all of my adoptive siblings but they can be a little worrying; I think I'm the black sheep or something like nobody trusts me.

"Are you sure you have everything?"

"Uh yes."

Rosalyn looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Iris did you have a vision about going to school topless today?"

"What?" I said, frustrated by the question, "No."

Everyone looked down at my chest. HOLY SHIT! I hid my well endowed pale chest with my hands. Dang it! That's like the fourth time this has happened! Jeremiah, my boyfriend/adoptive brother kept staring. Rosalyn laughed as her bf/brother, Alex opened my door for me and I ran back into the house. I could hear Edward complain about being late again. I'm a screw up what can I say? I said I had visions well most of the time they aren't what happens and they almost never come in handy when I really need them.

My adoptive mother, Eden was waiting for me with a shirt in the kitchen. "I knew you wouldn't get too far," she said with an understanding smile. Eden was always there for me even when no one else was. She was a beautiful and caring woman and always knew just what to say.

"Your butt is looking quite big today, Iris."

"Thanks," I said, slipping into my top, "It always depends on who writes me."

She gave me a weird look and then looked off to the side like she was looking for someone to explain what that meant; honestly I didn't know what it meant either, I think I just like saying words some times.

"Is she going to be there today?" she asked in her typical motherly tone while holding my hands.

"Yes," I said all giddy, "I wonder if she'll be as beautiful as she looked in my dreams!"

She chuckled, knowing how excited I'd been the past few months about this mystery future girl. "I know Edward is going to just love her."

It felt like she had just staked me in the heart, "...Right...," I said, "Edward..."

"You two are going to be such great friends."

"Yes. Great friends."

"Great friends and nothing more."

"Er, yeah."

Boy that was a weird thing to say. Edward honked, hand clearly left on the horn to get me moving. I told Edward about Becca a year ago. This fabulous girl that had trouble smiling and walking. He thought I was nuts of course, no girl that perfect could exist. Plus he was well aware of my visions so how was this any different? I could see them talking together, him showing her his dark secret and then introducing us. My visions would change but one thing was for certain I would be Becca's closest friend. We gossiped, we had a sleepover, we had a pillow fight we...played naked twister? Huh? That was a new one. Weird. But like I said my visions weren't always 100% accurate it was like the universe was having a laugh with me.

Once we got to the school I tried coaching Edward on how to make an entrance; he totally ignored me. He never acted excited about anything even if he really was to meet his one true love. Well if he wasn't going to work on making an entrance then I was. When we all walked into the cafeteria I did my best ballerina walk; I was very light on my feet.

There she was. I could feel my heart beating like a hummingbird; something that shouldn't happen because well I'm technically not even alive. But wow she was even better than in my visions. Those big brown doe like a scared doe and milky skin and perfect long brown hair I pictured blowing in the wind. Roslyn splashed cold water in my face. I tried not to stare too much at her after that; didn't want to embarrass Edward.

Alex and Rosalyn got the sudden urge to make out in front of everyone. It happens. Jeremiah had that feeling all the time but well...I wasn't really ready for that. I really only liked him as a friend and brother but Eden and Carlton insisted everyone be paired up. Part of the vampire religion I guess.

Edward finally made his entrance and it looked like Becca was swoon. Totally taking the bait. So awesome. I could've sworn she was staring at me at some point but no way when she had a nice piece of man meat dangling in front of her.

I noticed something on the cafeteria floor when Jeremiah tried to kiss me for the 30th time.

"Ooh! Shiny!" I tried reaching but it was too far, I had to get up and walk over to it. I bent over when Roslyn cursed at me. Oh no, did I rip? Did my pants split in two? Wouldn't be the first, heck it wouldn't be the fifth.

"Hey, that bitch is looking right at you!"

I looked between my legs to see Becca in an upside down world. She looked so stunning. She was smitten. I could almost see animated hearts floating around her. When I sat down she was gone. Edward was at our table, not even making an effort to speak with his future bride. If it were me let's just say things would get a little more than PG...PG-13 tops. Well you can't win them all. But I was sure these two would get together soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Iris was shocked when she found out Becca would be in all of her classes and not Edward.

'This is a disaster,' she thought, 'The universe wants those two together! Think of the fanbase!'

She had no luck trying to switch classes at the administration office, "Sorry, Miss it is far too late in the semester to do that."

"You have no idea what you're doing!"

The pudgy woman was not intimidated by Iris in the slightest not even when her eyes turned bright red. She went to chemistry class in a huff; of course she could just skip but she wanted to meet Becca and tell her just how important she was to her family's future.

Upon arrival, the chemistry teacher, Mr Potts told Becca, "Take a seat next to that pixie dream girl that will spawn a bunch of erotic fanfiction with you."

Becca didn't really pay attention to what he said, but she did see Iris sitting by the window; Becca was still so taken with the pale girl ever since gawking at her in the cafeteria. Iris looked so tense, she kept looking forward, not wanting to give Becca direct eye contact.

"Um, hey," said Becca, setting her backpack down on the table. Iris was afraid to turn to her, Iris was scared for what felt like the first time in her life she was worried about saying the wrong thing; this girl was destined to become her best friend and she had no idea how to break the ice, "I'm Becca."

Iris turned to the curious and stammering teen with a cute smile...then turned back to the white board. If she had any blood to pump into her heart right now she would have so much color in her cheeks.

"Iris right?"

Iris squeezed her arm nervously, trying to come up with an answer but she had squat. Was her name Mud or something? Instead she looked down at her wrist and said, "It's 8:30." She wasn't even wearing a watch. Iris was feeling more and more humiliated. Where was that teen heartthrob at? Becca sniffed herself thinking maybe she smelled or something. By the time class was over they both stood up with their backpacks and faced one another strangely. Iris clenched her teeth and finally spoke. "Well...bye!" Becca watched her leave out the door, curious as to what her deal was.

Iris' POV

Wow! What was that? How did I blow that! Becca probably thinks I'm special-ed or something! Ugh! Where was he?

I walked out to the parking lot at the end of the day and big surprise my family left without me. Perfect. Just perfect. Carlton has talked about buying me a car but I'm beginning to think he hates me or something. I guess being a Kagillion year old bloodsucking doctor really turns you into a souless creep. I saw Becca talking to Jennifer by her truck. OMG I ducked behind another car. Her hair danced in the wind. I could feel bats flapping in my stomach. She was so awesome, what was holding me back from telling her she was destined to be a blood hungry monster for all of eternity? I really liked how she carried herself and how confident she was. So twitchy. I really liked that. Oh no the wind blew a newspaper in her face but I'm sure she's totally fine. Oh no! There's a car coming her way and she doesn't see it.

"BECCA! BECCA!"

Shit! She doesn't hear me! Time to be a hero. I ran as fast as I could thanks to the super powered speed most vampires have and I pushed...Jennifer out of the way? Where did she come from? Becca was still over by her truck; she finally took the newspaper off her face in time to see the car coming. She put her hands up and I got in front of her. Luckily my ass saved us.

The two in the front seats of the car flew out of the windshield and landed on the pavement in a heap; my ass left two huge craters in the hood. Becca looked over the damage and then at me. We couldn't take our eyes off each other it was...well it was kind of beautiful. I knew I couldn't stay I had to run it was just too early for her to know. I ran off into the woods as fast as I could.

Becca's POV

Oh good it's my turn!

This girl was really getting to me. I never felt anything like this before. I needed answers and well not many people would believe you were saved by an albino girl and her marvelous ghetto booty. The dent in the car's hood, the imprint looked like a heart. It was incredible. What was it with me and butts all of a sudden?

Frank didn't know what happened despite the school calling and leaving a message about me almost getting creamed. He was investigating some recent attacks in town that he thought could be linked to wild animals or the Kardashians.

"Dad?" I asked while we ate leftovers for the third night in a row, "Can an ass stop a car?"

He put down his dry, microwaved chicken leg and said in all seriousness, "How big of an ass are we talking?"

"I dunno like," I tried to make the shape with my hands, it was hard to really give a good measurement without exaggerating it.

"Hmm. I'd say hippo, zebra, one of those big long tailed lemurs..."

"No a human ass! A girl about my size."

"Aw, well you can certainly dream, pumpkin," he said, rustling and messing up my hair.

"Dad, seriously."

"I don't think you're quite there yet. If it makes you feel any better you have filled out quite a bit and you are getting some junk in the trunk."

I couldn't help but feel proud after that compliment, "Thanks."

He confused this with me potentially hiding some secret crush, "So whose the lucky rapper?"

After getting absolutely no help at all I went to bed. First I tried online but got no solid answers and then I fell into a Youtube hole of stuff all about butts and boobs. When I dreamed I dreamed of Iris and her dancing in the cafeteria. I dreamed she came up to me and stripped us of our clothes. I danced with her and everyone cheered and then we fought in a big kid sized pool of green Jello. Damn now I really wanted Jello. My dreams always make me hungry.

The next day I planned to speak to Iris directly even if I had to pin her against a wall or lock her in a room tied up and gagged...wow I got kind of dark there. Don't worry not that kind of story...Or is it?

I skipped gym class and surprised Iris in the parking lot.

"We need to talk."

We had like this Mexican standoff and Iris bolted past me like CW's Flash and disappeared into the woods. I was not giving up. After tripping 6 times and rolling around some poison ivy I found Iris standing under a huge tree. "Hey!" I shouted but in the blink of an eye she vanished into thin air. I looked up and saw that she had only jumped to a branch above her still impressive.

"Y-you shouldn't have followed me," the girl said with this look of pain.

"Why? Are you OK?"

"I..."

"Please come down, I promise I won't bite," I joked stupidly. There was panic in her golden yellow eyes that was trying to tell me something.

"I might," she said, biting her bottom lip adorably.

"Wanna come walk with me?"

She knew I wasn't leaving so she jumped down and tried to maintain distance. I had so much to ask her.

"Your skin is pale white. You dress fashionably. Tight shirt. Tight pants. You dance wherever you go. You have a luscious ass that gets bigger every time I see it and you are impossibly cute and sexy."

"Go on say it...," she said, circling around me.

I swallowed, "Escort."

She rolled her eyes, I guess I said something wrong again. She took my hand and walked me up a small hill where the sun was shining down almost in spotlight. She made me stand at the bottom. In the sunlight I could tell that something seemed off with her. Something about her skin.

"This is what my kind looks like in the sunlight."

She opened up her shirt, flashing me! Literally! I was blinded by the sun reflecting off her chest. They were SOOOOO BIIIGGGG!

"Whoa. Boobs," I said like an imbicile with my jaw hanging wide open. Oh sorry drool.

All I could see were two spinning disco balls.

"Groovy."

Iris groaned and covered herself back up, "Disco is dead."

Then it hit me, she was no high paid escort, "Wait...fangs...eyes...skin...are you..."

"Yes, a vampire."

"Oh? Really? Wow I was way off."

"Huh? What did you think I was?"

"A leprechaun."

Iris frowned, "I'm pretty sure those are green and live in Ireland."

"Oh," I said, a little disappointed, I was really hoping she had a pot of gold or even a bowl of cereal, "So do all vampires sparkle?"

Iris sighed, "Yes our kind isn't accepted by all. The internet was one of the worst things invented."

"I think you're beautiful," I felt weird saying it and bit the inside of my cheek.

She seemed worried like she was in trouble or something, "We are not supposed to meet yet."

"Huh?"

"Becca," she said taking my hands, letting me feel how smooth and cold they were, "I can see into the future. Every vampire has a special power. It's mine and well you and I are supposed to be good friends and you're supposed to end up with..."

It was like she bit her tongue, "Who?"

"I'm afraid if I tell you it might not happen. I don't want to stand in the way of true love."

"That's really nice of you," I smiled.

Iris smiled back and her golden eyes lit up, "I want to introduce you to my family."

"Really? But what if they hate me?" I said, playing with my hair and feeling all vulnerable.

"No one hates you," Iris said, "Except for Rosalyn", she bit her lip and looked off to the side a moment, "You had a birthday."

"Yes that's right."

"But you never had a party."

"What? Sure I did..."

But instead what happened was Charlie and his friend Bobby came over and we had an awkward dinner while they both got drunk and fought over a baseball game that happened like ten years ago. Then a prostitute showed up, she kind of looked like Jessica Alba because Charlie said it was time for me to become a woman.

"I'm straight, Dad."

Charlie and Bobby laughed. Charlie pressed his fist into my chin, "Sure ya are sweetheart."

Then they went up to my room with the prostitute while I stayed downstairs and watched nothing but reality show garbage.

I looked at Iris kind of ashamed. Since she was psychic she probably saw just how lousy a birthday I had.

"I love parties. I can throw you the best birthday party ever!"

"Thanks, Iris," I said, hugging her; I think she was shocked I would do such a thing, she did really like hugging back. I trusted Iris. Maybe this would be awesome.

Iris' POV

Me again? OK here we go. I have to be careful what happens next because those Team Edward and Team Jacob fan girls are standing outside of my window carrying pitchforks and shovels.

"Team Edward!"

"Team Jacob 4EVER!"

"Becca Crane's straight, bitch!"

"Yeah! Straight as a crazy straw!" One girl said; the others all looked at her like she was a traitor, in fact they started whacking her with their shovels.

I picked Becca up at her house in Carlton's new yellow Porsche without his permission because screw that guy. I was wearing a blue dress, doing my best to match what Ashley Green wore in New Moon, I think it looked close maybe a lighter blue. Becca looked so amazing in her green dress and matching sneakers. She wasn't one for dresses but wow she looked great. Good enough to eat...Don't worry I won't...but it's so tempting!

"Are you sure about this, Iris? I mean...will he like me?"

"If he doesn't I'll break him!"

"What?"

"I mean...there's no way. You are a drop dead gorgeous young woman, you have perfect skin, you're funny and you have a terrific rack!"

"Thanks!", she said, looking down at her still blossoming size C chest. I was so glad I could make her feel more at ease, she really didn't have anything to worry about.

She was still nervous when we pulled up to the house, maybe because it was so away from everyone and deep in the woods, great view of the ice cold river and foggy sky. When I opened the door for her there was the whole family standing there super awkwardly like they knew when we'd be there; must've read ahead a chapter. Rosalyn came up to us and whispered something into Becca's ear. It must not have been mean because Becca was smiling.

"Hello, Becca, I'm Dr Carlton," Carlton, said steeping up to her and kissing her hand.

"Iris has told us so much about you," said Eden, swaying her hips up behind Carlton.

Out of nowhere, Becca shoved her face between Eden's enormous cleavage and motorboated her; she even made the wubba-wubba sounds. Eden was confused but laughed it off, Carlton grabbed Eden and took her aside. I found out later that Rosalyn told Becca it was custom to greet a vampire matriarch that way. Dammit, there was Jeremiah giving Becca this hungry wolf look.

"Oh, uh, Becca this is Jeremiah my boyfriend slash brother."

"Hot," Becca said, about to shake his hand; I instinctly stood between them and whispered.

"He's still new to the family. He's still getting used to not drinking human blood."

I don't think that scared her it was hard to tell with her lack of facial expressions. We cut cake and tried making small talk but there was no Edward in sight.

"Um, Iris...maybe I should go," Becca said, seeing Jeremiah licking his lips by the punch bowl.

"But you have to open your presents!" I declared, trying to lighten the mood. I gave her the small purple present and watched her open it or at least try to I didn't think the wrapping paper was that hard to rip. Then I saw it. Drops of crimson fell from her index finger.

"Whoops! Paper cut!" Becca said like it was nothing. Damn. It was getting so hard to not lunge at her. I hadn't seen fresh human blood in months. Jeremiah ran at her like Wilee Cyote. I grabbed him and pushed him back into Edward's piano. Soon the whole family was acting nuts even Eden. I grabbed Becca and ran upstairs.

After nailing a few boards on my door to keep them out I sat with Becca on my bed.

"Don't worry they should calm down in a couple hours. They won't even remember what happened."

"I knew they'd hate me," she said, hanging her head in shame.

I took her hand, "Hey, nobody hates you. I don't."

"Edward was the one, right?"

"Yeah. I don't know where he is. It's like he's afraid of true love."

"Are you sure we're meant to be?"

"Of course. I'm just as sure as the Dark Universe becoming a thing."

She shuddered when I squeezed her hand. That's when I clued into which hand I was holding. "Oh no." My eyes started changing red, I couldn't help myself it was that smell. I fought to control it. I couldn't be the one that turned Becca it had to be Edward. Plus if I started sucking her blood I don't think I could stop.

"Iris? Iris?"

Becca's POV

Dang it! Now I have to be the one to narrate the end of this chapter. I know I'm not that great just bare with me here...

So after Rosalyn tried embarrassing me (I'll admit that rubbing my face into Eden's boobs was pretty awesome and I think I for sure love boobs now) Iris' bro-friend tried to eat me. Iris saved me but now she was coming to her vampire nature. She sounded like she was in pain, she did try talking but she sounded like a cute cavegirl with all of her grunting and howling.

"Iris I'm not leaving you! There must be something I can do to help!"

Then I realized what I had to do seeing her boobs in that blue dress bounce, I ripped the front of it open and sprang those big luscious melons free. I shoved my face between them and kissed them all over. So soft and squishy, I loved how they slapped my face, those practically Ds. Iris was loving it too.

"You like that, girl?" I asked, playing with them some more, "What's that, Iris? You want to see mine?" She didn't even grunt anything at me but I could tell by her excited eyes she wanted a piece of me. I gladly pulled my dress down and let her paw my boobs. She was so strong, not too rough, I think she treated them like stress balls, squeezing each one in her hands. I moaned lightly, shutting my eyes, "Iris. Oh, Iris." Then she was sucking on my nipples, playing with them and finally starting to settle down. I put them away and stared into Iris' gentle monster eyes. That's when I went blank or well blanker than normal. It was like those eyes were hypnotizing me. The next thing I knew I was kissing her on the lips. It was all friendly and non-invasive at first I swear but then I lost all control. Open mouth french kissing. My moans were challenging hers on who could sound more like a cat in heat. Unfortunately all of this came to an end because that's just how these stories go sometimes. I know. I hate cliffhangers too. Iris came to and I tucked my boobs back in my dress.

"What? What happened?"

"It's OK, you're OK."

I placed a hand down on hers. She saw how ripped her dress was and her boobs were half showing.

"Did I miss something fun?"

Before I could come up with a lie we heard the cries and clawing at Iris' door. Iris grabbed me and we hid inside of her closet. Weirdly once we were inside they stopped trying to barge in. When one of us popped our head out to take a look they started clawing again.

"I think they want us to stay in the closet," said Iris.

Jee subtle.

We stood side by side in there, cowering together. You know for a dead girl she sure smelled nice. I couldn't believe what I did with her. I was seriously beginning to question my sexuality.

"Ow!" Iris cried, "Did you just squeeze my butt?"

"Sorry. You mean that wasn't mine?"

Seriously questioning it.


	3. Chapter 3

No idea what happened but I woke up in a field like I was in that Narnia movie but I can't remember the name of the place, Middle Earth maybe? No idea how I got there I just wanted to leave because the sun was so bright. But when I looked at my hands they weren't sparkling they were regular human. I touched my teeth for my fangs but they weren't there either. Was I dead? Perfect blue sky and lush green fields of flowers, mostly flat and I couldn't see any civilization. I kept on walking until the ground beneath me started to change, it was soft and wobbly, the more I looked around I realized I was standing on some giant titties; we're talking big double E pornstar jugs! Nipples were big and pointy, I tried climbing one to get a better look at my surroundings but ended up being launched off of it and bounced on something else big and soft a big black ghetto booty. No idea what kind of afterlife this was but oddly I was OK with it; that was until a giant tongue came down on the ghetto booty and licked me up.

Next I woke up in a bedroom, the scent was familiar; good I was me again. Becca! She stormed inside after a long day it seemed.

"Becca?" I said, trying hard to get her attention, but she couldn't hear me; great I was a ghost now. Becca was so glum I really wished I could comfort her but my hand went right through her. She got up and locked her door before lying down on the bed and lighting some scented candles; she turned on some lo-fi music, I guessed from what she was wearing this was before she confronted me that day to reveal who I was. I panicked when she started undoing her belt and unzipped her jeans...was she...OH MY GOD! Becca was touching herself right in front of me and I had no place to hide. I really didn't think she was that kind of girl but there she was in plain sight, she held some picture in her other hand and started rubbing herself above her underwear; she turned over a picture of her grandparents, a picture of a priest, Buddah, Ghandi and was going to turn over a picture of the Virgin Mary but instead she brought the picture closer as if she wanted her to watch. Wow Becca was more of a bad girl than I thought. I had to get a look at the picture, I was just too curious to see who she was getting off to and I had to be sure it was Edward.

"AHHH!" Becca cried out as she was getting closer to bringing herself to orgasm.

It was hard to get a look at the picture with her moving around so much and then I saw it: ME! No this couldn't be true, this had to be fake how would she even get a picture of me with that high of resolution? She also had a picture of my ass like it was a candid picture from our bathroom. Seriously? Becca let go of the pictures and had one hand under her underwear and the other was under her shirt squeezing her supple breast; sorry I couldn't help but stare. Was this all a dream or was this cannon? No idea and it was freaking me out even more. Sure it was great having such a fabulous beauty fantasizing about me and it made me feel real funny down below just seeing her body vibrate like that but this was not how it was supposed to be.

I tried intervening by whispering into her ear, "You love Edward, you want to be with Edward." Shit she didn't hear me. I backed away and watched her entire bed shake like she was Linda Blair, all that was missing was her head spinning around and green vomit. Instead she came and squirted like a fountain. Even in my ghost form I was given a good spray; I let out a scream when it got on my face, in my eyes and in my mouth. I thought it was over but Becca's downstairs turned into a fire hose and I was projected out her window, smashing through the glass.

Becca's POV

Where Was I? How did I get here?

I was on a sandy beach walking around in a green G-string bikini; something I'd never do being too awkward to look at and a walking disaster area. The sand was hot on my feet and the nice breeze moved my suddenly perfect hair. Did Frank get rid of me and send me to a deserted island? Was I stranded? But why just a bikini? I guess he was hoping I'd die of dehydration and sunburn. I saw something up ahead, the sun was so bright it was hard for me to tell but there was Iris in a pink G-string. Whoa. I gave my head a shake, shouldn't stare like that.

"Becca?" ran up to me and hugged me tightly; it was really good to see her and that hug was really doing it for me.

"Iris? Where are we?"

"No idea. I think we're dreaming. Wait! That means you're the real you!"

I noticed something on her face, not water something else and it had a scent of sweet shame, "Um, Iris...," I said pointing to my face to give her a hint. She laughed it off and wiped her face quickly, "Dreaming? Wait is this my dream or your dream? Do I even exist?"

She got a hold of me and slapped my face back and forth, "See you're dreaming!"

I was so shocked but I didn't feel a thing, "Ow?"

"You look really great in that bikini by the way," Iris smiled kind of bashfully; I wondered why.

I clued in quickly to the situation, I remembered everything before falling asleep, "Wait that means we're still in the closet!"

"I'm so sorry about my family, Becca, at least I'll never try and hurt you," she hugged me so lovingly, I gulped thinking about how she changed and almost ate me but then I quickly noticed our boobs were quite perfectly squishing into each other. So BIG. Iris glittered in the sun and I think was surprised when I lifted her up in my arms, I felt kind of strong all of a sudden and I just felt in the moment.

"Whoa, Becca! Hubba! Hubba!" She touched my now pumped up biceps.

This was crazy, no way I would ever get muscles that big in my life but might as well show them off while I could, "Check out the gun show, Iris!" I declared, flexing them, Iris also saw that I had a 6 pack that looked like it belonged to a stunt double's body. She touched my abs and covered her face to keep from laughing. "Hey I got an idea! Since we'll be waking up soon do you want to see what it would look like with our boobs pressed together to make two super boobs?"

Iris looked insulted, even repulsed but that changed fast, "Oh my god I was so thinking the same thing!"

We both were so giddy pressing our boobs together nipple to nipple, we watched them bulge. They looked HUGE! So awesome.

"Wow it's like our boobs are trying to eat each other!" I laughed.

"I've always wanted someone to play boobs with!" Iris giggled.

She was so sweet, not sure why I felt my heart racing so fast when I was this close to her, "Do you think it's time for us to come out of the closet?"

Before Iris could answer a bunch of young girls holding up signs and pitchforks at the other end of the beach. Their signs read: "Team Jacob!", "Team Edward 4Ever!", a big sign with Iris' face with a big red X on it and one that said simply, "Straight Pride". I had no clue what any of this had to do with anything.

"She's your friend that's it! She's with Jeremiah! There's too much gay shit on this site! You take too long to update chapters!"

"That's the fanbase," iris said, biting her bottom lip adorably.

There was this big storm cloud and the water was rising like something was about to come up to the surface. I squeezed Iris tight, thinking my new muscular body would shield her. A big shark, I think like the Meg from that Jason Statham movie emerged and scooped up the poor girls and their signs into its mouth. It roared in a very cockney accent, "Consider yourselves blocked!"

A wave took us and we were briefly underwater, the next thing I knew we were washed back up onto shore and I was on top of Iris; it looked very suggestive, we just kind of stared back at each other embarrassed, a second wave made it so Iris was on top of me but her groin was in my face and her face was planted in mine. What was Meg's deal? It laughed so obnoxiously at us, "SHUT UP, MEG!" I yelled. A third wave came...

Becca and Iris woke up inside the closet, Iris' butt was up in the air and Becca was using it as a very comfortable pillow.

"Five more minutes," Becca said, giving Iris' buns a squeeze.

Iris was still all dazed and didn't want to wake up especially with having a good friend play with her ass. Of course all good things had to come to an end. A familiar beat woke both of them up, the lyrics sounded so 2005.

"These two hotties together looookkking fiiineeee! The three of us in the closet! All I can dream of is if I make them miiinnneeee! They're trapped in this closet! Bloodsuckers just outside! They want to come into the closet! The girls want out of the closet! Just stay in the closet!"

Becca and Iris held onto each other and screamed, a very tall black man with cornrows was trying to be poetic but was coming off super creepy in the corner.

"IT'S R KELLY!" Iris cried, "QUICK, BECCA! RUN!"

Iris grabbed Becca's hand and the burst through the closet door. They paused when they heard the sounds of hungry beasts and clawing on the other side of Iris' door. Iris acted quickly and opened her window.

"Come on, I'll take you home!"

"Cool, you can fly!"

Becca jumped onto Iris' back, not preparing Iris for it, "No! Wait!"

They fell off the roof but luckily Iris was very good at sticking a landing. The two ran together but since Iris was so much faster she helped Becca out but she didn't see a tree root sticking up out of the ground. They crashed into each other with Becca banging her head on the ground. Iris was afraid when she saw had a tiny gash on her head but she wasn't sure why her vampire instincts didn't kick in.

"That's funny," she said, sniffing the air, "I don't want to bite your face off."

"Well I calmed you down the last time, maybe you're used to it."

"Really?" Becca was scared that Iris might be appalled she tried anything, "How did you calm me down?"

Becca stalled, trying her best not to reveal what she had to do, she was lucky because 3 very real and scary vampires showed up to distract her; two men and a woman, all pale with red eyes.

"My my, what do we have here?" the male with blond hair in a ponytail asked, circling them; Becca couldn't get over how it looked like they were modelling with open jackets to show off their midriffs. Their red eyes showed their true nature but their posing was so weird that Becca was almost certain they were going to break out into a dance number.

"What do you want?" Becca panicked.

"The name's Jack," said the blond monster, "This is my crew. Not a very nice place to be walking around for a young girl."

Becca gulped, "I've got my friend."

Iris looked back at the wannabe bad boy and held Becca's hand confidentially, "Yeah. She's got me."

"How sweet," said the woman, mocking their close vampire/friendship behavior. The redhead was named Rachel, "Doesn't look like much of a fighter."

Iris glared at her, holding her tongue from calling her a trailer trash Fergie, "I'm not a fighter. I'm a biter."

The other guy, Antione, a black vampire with dreads kept licking his lips at the sight of Becca, Becca touched her hair nervously. Iris had to do something, without Edward, Becca's true soulless mate not there she had to protect her no matter what. Luckily Iris had a vision and there was a 50% chance it was real. She pushed Becca back and walked up to the three no-goods and held out her hand.

"This is what will happen if you try to attack her."

Jack looked at his friends and shrugged, taking Iris' hand. She smiled smugly knowing they would be scared by what he saw. Jack was ultimately entranced by Iris' vision but instead of being scared he burst out laughing and encouraged Rachel and Antione to touch him so that they could see too.

"Damn now that's kinky!" Jack exclaimed.

"Oh my!" Rachel chuckled, "You really are a biter!"

"Dat ass!" Antione declared, "You are freaky!"

Iris displayed her fangs and scared the three off. Iris helped Becca up and brushed her off; she was shaking.

"I don't understand. What did you show them?"

"It was supposed to be them getting mauled by me and Edward but...," she pinched the bridge of her nose to concentrate and get back the vision she showed them; she quickly regretted this, "OH. MY. SATAN."

"What? What is it?"

"Uhhh...," Iris smiled and faced Becca looking so guilty, "Not sure too much static. Come on. I'll take you home and tuck you in."

Becca was curious but was also still tired and it was close to sundown. Iris made good on her word of tucking the sleepy beauty in.

"Thank you for saving me, Iris," Becca said, drifting in and out of consciousness.

"No problem, Becca, I would never let anything happen to you," she said, accidentally banging Becca's head into the headboard.

"That's OK my mom used to do that all the time," Iris was a little confused by that statement. Becca said, eyes heavy, "How were we in each others' dream?"

Iris thought about it, certainly not a power she had, not one she even knew about, "Not sure. I guess we have some kind of connection."

"Oh."

"Becca would you like to go to the mall? It's just...I don't get out often and I think..."

"Yeah...sure, Iris, that would be great. I think I need the distraction."

"Awesome. I really love spending time with...," when she looked back down, Becca was already asleep, she planted a kiss on her forehead and as she came back up got a good sniff of her hair; she would've left right away after that but she just couldn't stop sniffing every inch of the girl especially her crotch but even she realized that this was too much of a good thing.

Iris picked up Becca dressed like the Invisible Man; big sunglasses, leather gloves and a colorful headscarf. "Gotta be careful of that sun, can't let the secret get out." Becca felt meanwhile felt underdressed. The mall was just outside of Sporks, Frank gave the yellow Porsche a weird look and told Becca he was very proud of her for finding her very first sugar daddy.

Walking in the mall together, Iris showed Becca her favorite stores, mostly clothing which Becca was no expert in. They kept getting these looks from other shoppers, "Weird it's like people think we're dating or something."

"Yeah," Iris said aloud in almost a pyschopathic laugh, "Wouldn't that be crazy?"

Becca touched her hair and twitched, "Yeah real crazy."

"Wow you have really strong hands," Iris said, giving them a squeeze, "And really slender fingers. Guess I never noticed before"

Becca smiled, clearly uncomfortable, "Uh, thanks...you do too..."

Jennifer and Rick were both leaving the food court with some slushies when they saw both Becca and Iris holding hands; Jennifer nearly choked.

"That bitch told me this wasn't going to be one of those love stories."

"I dunno I think that sounds pretty hot."

Jennifer hated whenever he didn't side with her, she was really pressing a nerve not tossing her remaining blueberry slushy in his face.

"I hate femslash!" Jennifer exclaimed, making it sound like a personal attack, "It's not cannon! Why do these losers on the internet always do this?"

"Uh...," Rick tried to think of an answer but like always he ended up blank with his jaw wide open.

"Oh what the hell!" Jennifer tossed her slushy in his pretty boy face and followed Becca and Jennifer; not far behind were the Edward and Jacob fangirls ready to murder someone if things got steamy between the only good friends.

Iris desperately wanted to model for Becca for unclear reasons to her, Becca couldn't help but match her excitement. She sat in a chair and watched Iris go into the changing room; the lone clothing store clerk had an IPod with only Billie Ellish songs handy to play a clothing montage song. With good quick editing, Iris came out in some very nice outfits, starting from dresses and going into more goth-punk style with spiked heels but then things changed up fast with Iris dressed as a sexy cowgirl, she did a spin showing that she had no back to her pants and her delicious bubble butt was hanging out; Becca was enthralled. Next Iris was in a tight black leather jumpsuit before moving onto a red checkered blouse with exposed midriff and daisy duke shorts; Becca was sweating heavily and fanning herself. Next came the bikinis, it was quite clear the clothing store employee was adjusting the thermostat to make Becca sweat even more. Steam was literally shooting out of Becca's ears like a hot kettle.

The very last thing Iris came out wearing was nothing more than purple pasties on her nipples and vage. Becca's heart was pounding so hard that it was quite literally hitting her chest and trying to pop out like a cartoon. Becca finally noticed her heart and tried to hold it down with both hands.

"What do you think?" Iris asked Becca with a huge smile, oblivious to her good friend's plight. Becca tried keeping her heart down only for it to some how end up between her legs. Iris saw this and put a finger up to her mouth, "Oh my!" The heart sot back up to Becca's heart just in time too because Becca really couldn't bare this any longer. She jumped at Iris and held her in her arms, "Becca, what are you..."

A passionate kiss was all it took. Iris didn't hold back either, her legs wrapped around Becca and her fingers dug into her hair. Becca was in total bliss with this vampire pixie.

"Wait," Iris said, stopping the kiss, "This isn't supposed to happen."

"But your visions aren't always true right? Maybe this is supposed to happen and we can't fight it," Becca trembled on her words as she stared into those dreamy golden eyes. They kissed once more, moaning coming mostly from Iris.

"But what about the fanbase?" Iris said, worried.

Jennifer along with the team Edward and team Jacob girls had their faces pressed up against the store windows, angry that this was happening.

"Fuck it," Becca declared before moving in again. So smooth even when she was copping a feel for Iris' nice big booty. The store clerk was growing impatient but let the girls continue as more customers were coming in to watch the show drumming up business.

**Author's Note:**

> More silliness to come!


End file.
